i be mymusing myself

she arrived in my dream on time she said

have fun have so much fun because u are young and beautiful and healthy

your laughter is still loud enuf to awaken

your skin visible even under clothing

she insisted i should be a mystery to myself, an incredible question mark

i must follow every path i see simultaneously , i must have wild minds in my reach under beside and on top of me

i was worried and i cried to her

must i waste time on this when i should be freeing? what if i grow numb to pain, numb enuf to be numb to joy?

i said these puddles look unhealthy, will i come out triumphant? will my sunshine be secured...sacred

she answers me back every morning

u already house the world, u cultivate the dance, u must build your stereo to be broken

i grasped at her hand, i asked could i just accompany u please

i was holding my own hand

my muse

When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun / and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor/ I had always loved you more.

i just want to testify to this moment right quick . give righteous praise to what I have simply deemed 5 years of affinity …and more accurately- lifetimes of funk. This is not a story of titles , consistency , commitment , or ownership (never ever folks) . I have enjoyed a spirit for 5 strong years in this lifetime. we knew each other from many lifetimes ago , and have had the pleasure of meeting again in this world as sometimes lovers and great friends and what these strange people here in this strange world call ..home , as we are each others home . even for just this second . I told him before he left (we always leave) I was confident we’d meet again after both of us had transitioned , and most likely it would be as big cats. we read silly ass energy and big cats are the silliest of animals (yall aint know?) , they are some damn clowns . or monkeys but that may be too obvious for the universe . so there it is . I don’t really partake in sentimentality or in hegemonic description of togetherness , so I hope I have done this young piece of magic enuf justice. I hope folks can understand . I wish no harm or assumptions , just giving thanks for my greatest fan , the loudest clapping in the audience , the one I cut up fruit for when the sun rises . this moment right here is a bible . a mirror . a testimony to the capacity of miners during a rush in this temporary sphere we bitterly call babylon . a call to action to cultivate ur own beloved whether they manifest in art , woman , umi , or questions . it is indeed the smallest moments we live for.